Between Fairs, the Pismo Political Carnival Begins

Well folks, I did it. I picked a hotbed topic that is timely and thought provoking before it even made the news. Did you see my piece about the Pismo Beach City Council and the shell games they have played? How about the way they fooled the citizens of Pismo Beach? That was just Round 1.

Okay, everyone, get ready to see the barbs, harpoons, and clam shells fly. A runoff between Mayor Reiss, Councilman Rabenaldt, and a yet-to-be-decided dark horse candidate running for mayor. The question is, how big will the carnival get? I can see the campaigns now. Do you honestly think this won’t get dirty? Perhaps the candidates do not intend to make it so, but what about the polarized public? Only two candidates for mayor, and neither one of them stands out in a positive way in my opinion. Well, the opinion of the Opinionator matters. Here is what I would like to see.

I would like to see a candidate run as the “NOT ME” candidate. For instance, how’s this for a campaign?

Who put parking in the middle of the street? NOT ME
Who raised sales taxes in Pismo Beach? NOT ME
Who started charging for parking with coupon machines near the pier? NOT ME
Who violated Coastal Commission rules and will cause fines against the city? NOT ME
Who is allowing them to take away valuable parking space for a tall building near the pier and push parking underground? NOT ME
Who is allowing the people that run many huge commercial projects to build 3 stories downtown and lease to the city? NOT ME
Who spent $80,000 to steam clean and seal the sidewalks in downtown Pismo? NOT ME
Who spent taxpayer money to fly to Washington DC to talk to our representatives instead of dealing with them locally? NOT ME
Who had too much to drink and got up on stage in front of hundreds of tourists? NOT ME

How about that? Don’t run on what you CAN do, run on what you DIDN’T do. Of course, neither of the current candidates for mayor can do that. They are the “I DID IT” candidates. What did they do? Have they shown sound fiscal policy? Have they shown an ability to work together and communicate? Mayor Reiss would have you think so. Councilman Rabenaldt says he has been the communicator. Is this a p***ing contest? Stand back!

Bill would have you think he has overcome some mystical curse to move up, so let’s forget the past. No, Bill, you got drunk and made a fool of yourself. I don’t care whether you were a representative of Pismo Beach or not. That is not the point. The point is that you showed poor judgment. However, I am not going to harp on that because I don’t want Mayor Reiss to get an advantage. After all, isn’t the Opinionator supposed to be fair and balanced like Fox News says THEY are? Geraldo, let’s open up this vault and find the treasure. Ooops, another person that failed to hit the mark. Do you think people will ever see Geraldo as a legitimate newsman without constantly referring to Capone’s vault? Sorry Bill, the same thing will happen to you.

Oh, that reminds me of a dirty joke about a Scottish wall builder, but I won’t put that here. Sorry. Go find it yourself. Let’s just say he will always be known by the one stupid thing he did in his life.

I will give Bill some kudos for dissenting on the parking boxes, and wanting to work it out so the city would not go up against the Coastal Commission. Now, THERE is a government body with ultimate power, who makes blood run cold and strikes fear in the hearts of all who come under it’s pervue (almost like the IRS?). Uh oh, I see another one of those p***ing contests coming up at the end of summer about placement of the ticket boxes. I bet the commission waits until near the end of the tourist season to do something about it. If they do it now, the city will stall anyway, and make it look like the Coastal Commission is the bad guy. Maybe it will throw a wrench into the election if it goes public just before November.

Who will pay the legal bills for the stupid mistakes they made? You will. Well, maybe the tourists in part. It’s a good thing for you that the city got that sales tax increase passed. That means you can rest assured that at least 3% of the legal costs will be paid by tourists. That was a close call.

Bill, the people of Pismo Beach won’t forget about your stage event either. Oh wait, they will. That is one thing about the voting public. You can always count on them to forget things. How about who is more active on the council? Mayor Reiss is on 9 council subcommittees while Rabenaldt is only on the California Space Authority subcommittee. I guess if Diablo ever blows up we need to know what it will be like to be blown into space. Either that or maybe outer space is where the heads of the City Council are and he wants to be able to lead them there.

What does this look like? The city of Pismo Beach got a real politician at it’s helm. She took town by firestorm, made some headway as she pushed to show she was worth the recall, but then the sails went flat. Yep, she is a real estate agent that benefits from budget decisions she makes. Is that fair? Wouldn’t you like to have influence over matters in your town that would make your career more successful?

We want more people to come to Pismo Beach to buy property, don’t we? Let’s not worry about the ones that are just stopping in because it’s a beautiful place to visit. Put in some big ugly underground parking structure to keep those tourists in one place. Make the rest of Pismo and Shell Beach attractive to help property values and get people to want to buy a home here.

Doesn’t that make Pismo like LA? Where did Mayor Reiss come from? The last time I went to Venice Beach, I had to park a couple blocks away from the beach for $5, and walk to the water. I was fortunate that I got there early enough to be that close, and not have to pay $2 more (they change the price as demand goes up). The parking lot runs for a few blocks. Maybe people down there are willing to pay $5-8 to park and walk to the beach, and maybe that is what Mayor Reiss thinks will work for Pismo, but I don’t think the citizens (not just residents, as a resident only lives there ~ a citizen cares) of Pismo will want it to go down that path, but it will be too late by the time they get to say anything.

Her stated political philosophy back when she was running for Mayor was “Continuing our downtown revilization including resolution of parking and traffic issues . Streetscape and other enhancements along Shell Beach Business District and James Way . Addressing long-term infrastructure needs-streets, storm drains, beach access and bluff protection . Exploration of bringing cultural/civic uses to the downtown core . Ensuring Mobile home rent stabilization . Protecting our environment and special qaulity of life . Exploration of a convention center . Balancing the needs and interests of residents and tourists”

Oh yes, downtown revitalization turns out to be politicospeak for “build a big office building and expensive parking structure to make Pismo Beach look like the beaches around LA”. Nevermind that many of the residents of Pismo Beach now came from the LA area, so they won’t care. Make them feel at home. Also, that bit about bringing civic uses to the downtown core… does that mean you want to lease from Westpac when they have built the new office building near the beach? Then on your lunch, or between city business, you can run your toes through the sand. Oh, and don’t forget to feed the pigeons while you’re down there.

If people are focused on the pigeons, they won’t look for the real stupidity. What ever happened to removing the birds by taking their eggs? I knew that would never happen. I was looking forward to pigeon omelets. You could have sold the eggs to JJ’s. Oh, how about Honeymoon Cafe? They are proud of their local breakfasts, and they can go get the eggs themselves. How fresh and local is that? Yummmmm. I am sure Chele’s or Brad’s can work it into some gourmet treat, and even offer a sample at the next city council meeting. It’ll be so tasty, you will cooooooo over it. Ah yes, how about Rosa’s? I am sure they can be creative with fine dining. “Mi scusi, volete qualche piccione soffio per la cena?”

Also, what about this streetscaping in Shell Beach? What streetscaping can be done in Shell Beach? Let’s put a few planters by stop signs and call it good? Does Mayor Reiss live or have her office up in that area? Maybe she lives off of James Way, or goes to church up there at New Life. Is that corridor really as important as the area tourists see? After all, Pismo Beach depends on tourists.

She also claims she wants to protect “our environment and special qaulity of life” but how do you do that when building a convention center? Plow over Dinosaur caves park? The hillside above McClintock’s? Use eminent domain to take away homes then hire Westpac to build it? Maybe fill in the creek or build it in the last parking lot on Addie Street so we lose about another 130+ parking spaces? I am sure they will be creative about it.

Also, what about this idea of long term infrastructure? Is that what the sales tax is for, or is it for fixing a budget gone bad again? There are so many questions to ask when you look at her philosophy of a couple years ago and where she has led the council now.

Then again, Mayor Reiss is used to criticism, like the way she went after Bill Rabenaldt last time, taking away his laptop and credit card. Wah. It’s our computer and you can’t play with it, Bill. Oh, and you have to stop buying things with our credit card, too. Wah wah. You were bad, Bill. You should not have talked with the Coastal Commission, we have chosen as a group to ignore their threats. Wah wah wah. Oh, and you need to not knock city employees, even if they are doing stupid things that may cost the city more money later. Shut up Bill. Wah wah wah wah. When will it end?

Maybe this particular election is the best thing to happen to Pismo Beach politics in a while. I suspect someone else will see the opportunity, and in the next week or so you will see a new candidate emerge. Perhaps the shiny cape will catch your attention. Maybe the shield on his or her chest with “NOT ME” embossed on it will tell you this is the wo/man for you. Maybe this time there will be a real choice for the position. Then again, maybe it will be another opportunist, looking to get a seat at the bad fortune of others that can’t get their priorities right. Where’s the mud?

This City Council battle is going to get ugly. You watch what happens. I am waiting to see who throws the first mud grenade. They both talk about communication and leadership. Will it be Mayor Reiss talking about Rabenaldt undermining the city, or will it be Councilman Rabenaldt complaining about Mayor Reiss usurping procedure to railroad a fellow council member instead of focusing on issues? Heck, let’s do them both at the same time so we can get this going. I’m anxious to see where it goes. Call me impatient. When I see the carnival coming, I want to get there fast. Hey, the carnival is in town. Let’s get some cotton candy, a ride wristband, and throw some darts to win a picture of Pamela Anderson or Toby Keith. Let’s just hope the ferris wheel doesn’t come apart.

I’m ready for the big show, how about you? Wait, can you hear the music? The haunting lyrics? Bring in the clowns. There ought to be clowns. Don’t bother… they’re here….

The Opinionator