Shootout At The DeVaul Corral – County Wins/Loses

Finally, law enforcement is cracking down on the criminals out at the DeVaul Corral. Yes, that’s right. Nearly 20 officials from various government agencies descended upon the law breakers of the DeVaul Ranch, making them pay for their defiance. Finally, justice is served and the law breakers are made to pay for their infractions.

Law enforcement officials showed up en force to crack down on the cock fighting ring on the ranch. They confiscated hundreds of roosters and paraphernalia used in cock fighting and betting. On a typical weekend thousands of dollars were wagered as hundreds of gamblers and law breakers witnessed the bouts between live birds. Oh wait, that was a different ranch. The DeVaul ranch was never involved in cock fights. Let me think, what was it for?

Oh yes, law enforcement officials from various agencies showed up to harvest and destroy thousands of pot plants, with a street value of thousands of dollars. Several agencies were involved, including County Planning and Building’s code enforcement, Cal Fire, and State Department of Toxic Substances, Sheriff, and DEA. Oh wait, DEA was not there, so it couldn’t have been pot. Let me think, there had to be something else. Toxic substances?

Law enforcement officials from the County of San Luis Obispo and State of California invaded the DeVaul Ranch to investigate and clean up gallons upon gallons of toxic material. County Planning and Building’s code enforcement, Sheriff, Cal Fire, and California State Department of Toxic Substances were involved in the cleanup and recovery of these materials, to a great cost to taxpayers. Arrangements were made to dispose of these drums and containers of waste in a safe manner. Wait, no there wasn’t a major cache of toxic waste, but the State Department of Toxic Substances was there. What could it be for?

Oh yes, the California Department of Toxic Substances recovered a battery. “A battery?” you ask. “With all the budget problems, the State Department of Toxic Substances was called out for a battery?” I hear you add in disgust. That is the assumption based on the information given. On the afternoon of Thursday, July 23, 18 to 20 government officials and law enforcement swarmed on the DeVaul ranch.

Does it really take 18-20 officials on the public payroll to deal with Dan DeVaul and serve him? Here is what I have for information.

Because of DeVaul’s work with homeless and recovering adults, some were living in tents and portable shelter on the ranch. On July 14, there was a small fire on the ranch at a tent that had solar panels connected to a battery. Nobody was hurt, but Cal Fire responded, and apparently reported that there were other people there, or some such information. I am not sure how much information was needed to tip the scales again, but it happened and the government showed up in great quantity. Maybe some just wanted to be there to watch. Maybe they were interested in the solar panels to see how to hook up a green system for their own tent.

They served papers to force compliance by Dan DeVaul and as of July 31, there will be no more operations at the DeVaul Ranch to benefit homeless and recovering adults. Hip hip hooray! Let’s hear it for the County! Christine Mulholland finally got her way. You didn’t think I could get through this without reminding you of her, did you? After all, she is the hinge pin that started all of this. Politics wins again.

If it wasn’t for Christine’s position as a city official using her connections with the county, we would still have a location to serve the needs of recovering adults and homeless. Does the County win or lose? If you ask the County and Christine’s neighbors, they say win. If you ask everyone else, chances are they will say lose. After all, where are they going to go now? It’s not like you can load them on a bus and send them somewhere else.

Hey, Christine, are you willing to pay for some bus tickets?

Who Chooses Mid State Fair Carnival Games?

Who is in charge of choosing what games are at the Fair? I am sure it is not the Fair Board. It can’t be the front office, and from the looks of it, it isn’t the people who attend the fair, either. There is no more selection at these events. They have it down to popping balloons, getting a ball in the bin, and basketball with a “non-regulation” hoop. There were several of each of these games this year, no variety, no dime or quarter toss, no ring around the bottle neck, no ping pong ball in the fish bowl, none of the classics.

I miss the old days of dime tosses, later raised to quarter tosses. I was really good at those, even when they topped everything off with platters instead of drinking glasses. “Winner winner winner! We have a winner here!” They would yell as they brought me the shot glass that says Las Vegas on the side. I guess that doesn’t look as good as making a ruckus and handing me a big Tony The Tiger with a crooked eye. What about the other games? Too many people were playing basketball (or thought that was what they were doing).

What does “non-regulation” hoop mean? It means that unless you have been practicing the “trick” for a couple years every day like the carny, your chances of making it are slim to none. They also change the rules on you, or make rules that are not posted. For instance, I watched a ball bounce off one hoop and into the adjacent hoop. He didn’t get a prize because the carny told him it had to be in the same hoop. We all yelled and booed over the injustice, but the carny just didn’t want to pay out another prize. Did you know that some people are scared of carnies?

How about those rims? What does “non-regulation” really mean? It means the hoop is deceptively shaped. It is as wide as a normal hoop so you think you have a chance to win, and not so far out so you won’t be able to bounce it in off the backboard. It is oval shaped, so if you don’t get it in just right it will hit the rim and bounce back. The rim is as “deep” as the ball with a little clearance to make it possible if you do it just right, like the carny shows you. There is very little room. That is why they have siding on these games so you won’t go on the side and see the shape. I recommend you watch it from the side some time so you can see how close it is to the size of the ball.

I was shocked at how many people were doing it, even though they now have “non-regulation rim” posted on the game. They legally have to tell you about the rim. Sometimes when they have a line of people waiting I will yell out, “What shape is the rim?” to which (after they ignore the first 5 times I do it) they have to answer, “Oval.” They brush it off, but I make sure people in line realize that means the rim is designed for them not to make it unless the ball comes straight down into it. I am surprised how many guys tell me they know that already, and still try it. Ask the carny to do it, and you will see. The ball goes straight up, and straight down. No angle.

The trick is that they put only big animals at these games because of the odds. That attracts the macho guys that will pay $5 to show off to their honey, and keep putting out $5 until they win. Then they take their $45 prize home with them and smooch. Nobody cares that they could have got the same thing at Toys R Us for only $20. Also, pay attention to the prizes. They are usually factory seconds or low quality. I’ll deal with that later in this post.

How about this game of getting the ball in the basket or bin? There are two versions of this. One is that you toss it directly in a tub and it bounces out because of the angle of the tub and shape of the bottom. It basically tosses the weighted ball back out of the tub with a springy bottom so you don’t have a chance to win. You have to put some back spin on the ball so it won’t hit the bottom so hard and bounce back out. You usually have to get 2 or 3 balls to stay, and they know you get sloppy after the first one. How many people play this? I didn’t see anyone doing it yet (light carnival crowd for the opening of the fair), and even in Santa Maria not many were doing it.

The other version is with the slanted board you have to bounce off with a light ball that will bounce back at you instead of going in the basket at the bottom. The trick again is back spin and angle. You have to get it to bounce as it is already heading down and losing speed. If it hits it too hard, it will bounce out too far. Again, I didn’t see many people doing this game. Maybe they are getting smarter? No, they were still playing basketball so it’s not that they’re getting smarter.

The other game is the balloons. What is the gimmick here? Dull darts? Watch the balloons. Oh, all the pretty colors and variety. They blow up balloons and replace them when they get enough popped. They don’t fill them all the way. Try this at home. Blow up some balloons with a different amount of air in each and see which ones are easy to pop. The thinner ones are easier to pop. These have more air in them. They may not be bigger. Look at the color of the balloon. If it is a brighter thinner color, it has more air in it and will pop easier.

Of course, how many people can throw a dart that accurately with the power needed? We just throw the dart in the general direction and hope we hit one straight on. Instead we graze them, or hit the ones with thick skins. Nope, not so easy to win. Besides, even if you did win this, you don’t get the big prizes until you win a few times. Some will give you a bigger prize if you pop 3 in a row. Just watch people doing it for a bit, and see if they are popping. If so, maybe you have a chance.

Back to the animals and prizes. Be careful when you go do a game. They put out all the big prizes and you think you will win something nice. Then when you win, they reach into a box and pull out a 7 inch snake as your prize. “Wait, what about those up there?” “See the bottom row behind the boxes where you can barely see what you will really win? That is for your first win. Then once you win 3 of those, you can trade up to the next level. Then when you win 2 of those, you can trade up to the big ones. That will be another $5 if you want 3 more darts.”

Look at the prizes, too. One time I won a prize then saw where they had removed an extra tail and sewed it up. I am not making this up. It was obvious that the stitching was different. Maybe the prisoner that sewed it up was trying to tell us something. Maybe China is performing strange operations on prisoners to see if they can grow a tail or two, or an extra leg. Maybe he or she was on hallucinogens when they sewed it up with two tails. Maybe they were numb with boredom in the sweat shop, or falling asleep in the heat and smells of all the sweaty bodies in a small factory crowded in inhumane conditions to make $1 stuffed carnival prizes that the carnivals make insane profits off of.

That is why you will find Stewie with a missing finger, Snoopy with one ear shorter than the other, and Spiderman with the design upside down. Quality control at the Marvel Comics people turned him away so the distributor sold them to the carnival for pennies on the dollar. No loss, and no need to waste the efforts of that poor Taiwanese sweat shop worker just because she was falling asleep from heat and hunger.

What ever happened to good old American Made carnival prizes? They haven’t existed ever since the unions got fair wages for their textile industry members. Almost all the jobs have gone overseas, but at least the few that still have jobs are getting paid decent. Just to supplement their income, their spouses are working as carnies so be nice to them.

American Star Trailways and Mid State Fair Blow Transportation

Tonight is Eddie Money at the Mid State Fair. The Fair website has a listing for the city to city shuttle service from Santa Maria to Paso and back. Oh boy! I don’t have to drive! I am looking forward to seeing Eddie, and get my Two Tickets To Paradise on the shuttle. I’ll get my shuttle wristband and see If We Ever Get Out Of This Place. So Baby, Hold On, we are going to the fair. Just baby hold on to me. Whatever will be will be.

I actually visited the American Star Trailways office locaated in San Luis Obispo in the old Wisberg Lumber location on Broad Street to get my wristband and thought things would be Shakin. This is a company that has a bunch of run down looking school buses in the corner of the lot, with some very plush current buses alongside them. I could never figure out why they would have run down old buses for a company like this, but that is not the focus of this article. Maybe it shows a bit of their professionalism or lack of it in the long run though.

I was looking forward to curbside drop-off and pickup, saving the hassle of driving to the fair, paying for gas and parking, and having to deal with traffic and snoozing on the way back. I hate falling asleep behind the wheel of my car coming home when I am tired. It never benefits anyone, and it is a real pain to wake up with your pedal to the metal and not knowing how you got there. But, I digress, and that was after I stopped to take a nap. I don’t remember even starting the car that time, but I did avoid The Big Crash. Back to the point.

It is a good thing to not have to drive back, I could just snore and let people in the bus think the transmission is making the noise. I was looking forward to this process, and ease of transport. It probably has better air conditioning than my car, and bigger windows. I could sight-see for a change, too. I have never counted all the cows and horses between San Luis Obispo and Paso Robles. I was also prepared for the possibility that they may all be at the fair already and I may see no bovine or equine anywhere along the way. That would be sad.

I stopped in the Trailways office, got out my money and said, “Wristband, please,” to which the response was, “For which day?” “Today.” “Sorry, we stopped selling them at noon today.” My watch told me it was well past noon, so I was out of luck. “So I have to buy them from the driver?” “If he has any left.” Wait, did she tell me there may be no seats? YEP. Maybe I’m A Fool, but I would think they could tell me what the chances are of having seats in Santa Maria. They couldn’t even tell me that and I’m not a Gamblin’ Man.

It turns out that they only have so many seats, and if they run out, that’s tough luck. If you are at the bus stop waiting for your shuttle and there are no seats, you just wasted the half hour you sat there in anticipation. Do you think they will even stop at the bus stops once they are full? If you don’t have any seats, why bother? Just keep going and let the people wonder. They can figure it out and hope the next one has a seat. It’s better than people yelling Let Me In, and having eggs thrown at your bus outside of Ralphs.

It doesn’t take long to run inside the store and buy a flat of eggs. By the time the driver is done arguing and telling everyone he has no more seats, someone could be out there with a flat of eggs for everyone to throw at the bus. Okay, I am not condoning this action, and it is purely a piece of fiction. Fiction that would be dangerous if they hit the windshield and the albumen smudged all over the windshield. The wiper blades going back and forth, spreading that stuff all over as the driver is trying to make a quick get-away from the angry mob, the driver not able to see the poodle he is about to run over, people screaming, cars screeching to a halt, oh, it’s not a pretty sight, and I don’t want to go there any more.

So, the bottom line is that the Trailways people blew it. They apparently don’t know how to run a shuttle service effectively and efficiently. If you have a big event, I recommend finding another shuttle service. Get someone that can have a backup for you, someone that can be sure your people get where they are going and back.

Here’s the other issue. Coming back, you don’t know what bus the people are going to take. What if everyone waits until the LAST BUS? They will be STUCK IN PASO because there are not enough seats. The schedule provides for 3 return trips. What if nobody comes home on the first one, or even on the second one? I don’t want to be one of the people stuck up there. There is no place comfortable at the fair, and the motels will all be full. Wow, that is really great planning, isn’t it? Congratulations, Trailways. You did it.

I called the Mid State Fair and told them about this problem. Did they care? “I will tell them for next year,” was their response to the news. “You have to change your website so people will know this year that they could be stuck.” “I will tell our graphic designer.” Good luck, Mid State Fair, you just won an award for the fair that cares the most (about nothing). At least the Santa Barbara County Fair went the extra mile this year. They had people in the bathrooms keeping them clean. That was a big plus. I guess Mid State doesn’t care as much.

Mid State Fair had a 1% growth last year, compared with much higher growth in previous years. Why was that? Entertainment? Service? Problems with alcohol? Too many/too few security and police? What would the problem be? Poor management and mediocre shows? Let’s add poor shuttle service to this year’s list. Oh, and I’m sorry about all the Eddie Money song titles in this post. I couldn’t resist. Maybe I’m a Fool…..

The Opinionator

PS: In my constant endeavor to get to the root of things, and bring you only the facts (don’t argue with me whether I am successful at it), I did some more digging and found out some interesting twists to this story. It turns out that the Mid State Fair did not want the shuttle service from Santa Maria to Paso. Why would that be? Let’s look at possibilities and speculation.

I know I said facts, but tough it out for a while and go with me on this. We might find some good conspiracy material for KSBY to investigate. Okay, they will probably be too lazy to do it, but maybe someone at the Paso paper will be interested. The canaries that get their cages lined with it may like it.

My first thoughts:

The first speculation is that the Mid State Fair board didn’t like it because it was not their idea. That is a stupid thought, but I could see egos clashing. “Hey, Vern, we got a call from some bus people. Let’s have this American Star Trailways shuttle bring people all the way from Santa Maria!” “Jimbo, what the H@!! are you talking about? We don’t need them people here.” “What people, Vern? Mexicans?” “No, Jimbo, people that might spend money here at the fair. We don’t need more of them people here. We had a 1% growth last year and heck, that’s fine for me.” “But Vern, we would make more money if they came.” “Jimbo, you have so much to learn. Running this fair ain’t about making money or having enough for capital improvements between fairs. That is what sponsors are for. Didn’t you notice we renamed the main stage the Chumash Arena and bought new plastic chairs for people to sit in?” “Heck, Vern, you are so smart. Okay, no shuttle.” “Yeppers, Jimbo. Maybe next year one of us will come up with the bright idea and we can hire someone to do it.”

Next thought:

Then there is the idea that they would rather have the air pollution, clutter, and congestion caused by all the traffic. That is like raising a big banner and saying, “Hey, look at us! We have a lot of noise going on, and lots of people coming to Paso Robles to spend money! We have them park around town and ride buses in so they will spend money when they get out of the fair.

Oh, they can’t because it will be too late by the time they get out, but maybe before the fair so they can load up on water at 50 cents a bottle in a case instead of $3.50 a bottle at the fair. We are supporting the local economy.” Is it really supporting the economy? Vendors and people with their animals rent rooms (and load up extra people in their rooms), go to restaurants and grocery stores, but people that attend the fair do not usually add to the economy, other than paying for parking.

Another thought to consider:

The next idea is that they don’t want someone else to make money off of the fair. Oh, wait, they already do. They let charities and non profits do things and make money off of it. They also have all the homes and churches that make money selling parking space in their yards. “Honey, let’s rent a home on Riverside. We can make $100 a day when the fair is going, for two weeks. That’s, uh, (carry the one, cross the t, round up the tens), uh, that should be about $2,000 a year.” No, honey, that’s only $1,400.” “Wow, that’s even better! We can score some good sh*^ with that kind of money. Clean that old stuff out of the bong.” “Honey, school starts soon, and Jeremy needs new shoes. We should get him a pair.” “Okay, take him to Walmart with $20 and I get the rest. Wooo hooo! Paaaaartaaaaay!”

The fact is, the Mid State “Fair” said no shuttle until American Star Trailways said they would give the net proceeds to charity. Boing!!! The boys at the fair loved that idea. “Okay, nobody else is making money now except non-profits. We have done our job here, let’s go home before the noise starts. I’m tired from all this thinking.” Way to go, Fair Board. Don’t forget to take your blinders with you. Someone may put them on horses and jackasses like they should.

Finally:

The last idea is that maybe they just don’t know what the heck they are doing. Maybe they just don’t want to be bothered by new ideas. Maybe they are short sighted. Maybe they don’t care about the people south of San Luis Obispo. Maybe they don’t like the people at American Star Trailways because they don’t know how to run a shuttle service. Maybe they were looking for a way to make money on it themselves. Maybe they are just mismanaging the fair. Oh, and when are they going to fill the holes in the carnival area so people wont twist their ankles any more, kids won’t trip and fall, and strollers won’t get stuck and jar the baby? I guess that is another post for this blog.

I think the Mid State Fair has enough material for lots of blogs. What do you think? Tell us what stupid stuff you saw at the fair this year. Did you notice the new alcoholic bar near the kid’s stage? Good stuff. Mom and Dad can get plowed while little Clarence watches Jack Hannah pet the snakes. Is this fair moving away from a family event to a beer and wine festival? Let’s rename it. Mid State Fair and Vintner’s Festival. “The Biggest Little Lushfest Anywhere! Let us babysit while you sip a little more.” I won’t tell you about the time I saw a loose bolt (with no nut!) on one of the rides and the reaction I got when I mentioned it to the carny. I don’t want to scare you from riding them.