What is up with Singles and Dating on the Central Coast?

I have noticed an increase in singles groups around the Central Coast over the past year or so. Not only that, but dating sites sure have changed since the last time I “needed” one. In fact, in another Blog, I will tell you about some good FREE dating sites you will want to know about if you are single. In the meantime, let’s look at the “Big Dogs” of dating, the Singles Groups.

Remember when video dating was the thing to do? You went to their office and made a tape of who you were, and what you were looking for. If you looked good on TV, you were picked. If not, you were screwed. It was kind of like the Nixon/Kennedy debate. Everyone that heard it on the radio (those were still popular back then) swore that Nixon won and was quite the victor. However, TV was in it’s infancy, and Nixon was not prepared for the look. He came off looking like some sort of crook or something (not that he ever was), and people who watched it voted hands down for Kennedy. It was as if there were two different debates.

This was the same way. If you looked good on paper, you could still be a dork and get dates. If you looked good on video, you had it made at these sites. Still, people who were not photogenic at all (should that be videogenic?) were still plunking down their $30-50 for the service. Maybe they just wanted to watch videos of other people. A dating service for voyeurs and pervs? Who knows. I tried it once.

I watched some videos, like what you would do in one of those porn shops, or sperm bank donation booth. You pick whoever you think might work out, then they watch your video. If they picked you, then you got a date. Never mind that people were putting their deepest darkest secrets on tape for anyone to see in the privacy of their booth. You talk, I’ll watch.

Well, there is a whole new breed of dating services out there, and they call themselves Singles Groups or Social Groups. I have actually dug up a few here on the Central Coast, and it is quite interesting. Here is what I found out:

Let’s start with the two biggest ones. It is arguable which one is truly bigger, as they are secretive and boastful about their lists, but let’s go with the one that claims to have the bigger numbers (swollen claims get you to the top).

Travel Connections Social Club was started by Dianne Tuttle about 10 years ago to drum up travel business and make a service for people who liked to travel but didn’t want to go alone. She set up trips and meetings to talk about trips, then there came dinners and BBQs to get people to socialize. It became one big social group designed around a travel service. It actually serves a very good purpose, if you’ve ever seen how much it costs to travel alone. Rooms, cruises, and other accomodations are charged by pairs. If you get a room alone, it is the same price for one or two people. Why not share the costs? You also end up with a “travel buddy” or companion that you can spend time with on tours. This group is primarily older settled people who want to travel now, and have time for it. There is also the younger part that only travels on occasion and see it as a way to socialize in the meantime. She claims to have about 1,000 singles across a broad area.

New Life Christian Singles is run by the New Life Christian Fellowship in Pismo Beach, and claims to have about 700+ singles in their database. Most of their events are centered around church and fellowship, such as movies about being a better single through Christianity, pot lucks and game nights with a little preaching here and there, but also some outdoor activities such as hiking and outings. They have some pretty good events, and an active calendar. They promote a God-centered lifestyle for singles. Not all their members are from their church. They reach out to other churches for their singles, as well, and some members don’t go to any of those churches at all. They have secular members also, so don’t be afraid to check it out. If they scare you away by getting too preachy, tell them you know the Opinionator, and let me know about it.

Central Coast Singles is pretty much a clearing house of singles events and groups. This group run by Gerald Craig was started in early 2005 to fill the needs of singles who were tired of the bar scene and pickups, but still wanted to get out. It is a social group that allows for singles to meet, and possibly find a love in their life. With 400 single friends on their MySpace page, over 200 in their database, another 120+ in their Yahoo Groups, and about 150 on a mailing list, this one is perhaps the most puzzling of all. Although they have events every week of the month, they still cram a bunch more stuff into their schedule from other groups that wish to submit to them. To look at their calendar, it is so full, how do you pick what you want to do? However, with a goal of making as much available for members and other singles, this certainly fits the bill as the way to get out there and have fun. Look for ball games, dancing at the Big Chill at the Graduate on the first Saturday of each month, singles mingles, other dinners and dancing, speed dating, movies, game nights, BBQs and much more. This is probably the first place to stop for singles from Paso Robles and San Miguel to Lompoc and the Santa Ynez Valley.

Central Coast Catholic Network out of Nipomo is a singles group that doesn’t want to be called a singles group. I guess some of the members didn’t want to be associated as single, and want it to be more of a social group, rather than a singles group. This group is faith based, but they have members of all levels of faith. You don’t have to be Catholic to join, although many events are associated with the Catholic Church. They do many other things, sometimes interfacing with other singles groups and doing their own events. They have gone dancing, to concerts, dinners, parties, potlucks, the Melodrama, attend mass together, and much more. Run by Adele Zelena, this is a relatively wholesome group, that appeals to a more conservative base. Call (805) 878-4464

North County Christian Singles are brought together by Jeanette Bush in Paso Robles for game nights, dinners, bowling, and other events found around the area. Jeanette started this group to fill a need for social events for singles in the Paso Robles area. They visit the Spirit West Conference in Monterey, and do other faith based events, both on their own and with the New Life group. This is a good group to contact for carpooling to other singles events. Of course, with any carpooling, it is suggested that you get to know each other first. North County Singles should contact her.

Camping Love of Adventure is the first one we find that has dues to pay, but it is worth the info they provide and the fun. It is a nonprofit camping group that hosts events monthly including camping, potlucks, campfires, and various outings. Widows, widowers, divorced, unmarried, and individuals with a chronically incapacitated spouse are welcome. Yearly dues are $10. Events go all over, and involve several levels of participation, which are up to you to choose. For local chapter info contact Bev Pritchett and Sharon Harrison: 937-3268 or twobirds2@verizon.net.

Singles Meeting Friends & Soulmates is run by Dolores Segui in Santa Maria. This is a limited group, with about +/- 30 members, in a controlled rotation of events. They visit the Big Chill dance monthly, follow a band called Unfinished Business to various venues, frequent dinners, movies, miniature golf, beach & lake parties, travel out of town for singles events, and occasional singles cruises as available. This group has different levels of participation, controlled by the owner of the group, who choses who will participate in what events. If you work well in a very controlled environment with seating arrangements and specific expectations, this is the group for you. Contact lolysegui@comcast.net for more information on this group.

Singles Charity Mixer set up by Dena Cagliero of First American Title Company has an event every quarter that costs $25 to attend. You pay the fee, listen to 3 guest speakers for about 3 minutes each, and you “vote” for your favorite charity. This charity gets what is left of your $25 donation after processing charges. She tries to put together 40 men and 40 women for each event to raise about $2,000. Of course, they “SKIM” a bit of your donation for processing fees or whatever. They target singles 25 to 55 years old, so you may be discouraged from attending if you are younger or older. Of course, your money is just as green as any other single person’s, and why wouldn’t a 55 year old be interested in a 58 year old? They also want professional people who can be charitable, which to me means deep pockets. They also limit the ratio to 1:1 men to women, which means you could be stuck with only one choice of person to chat with through the night unless you switch quickly to another person. You may also not find who or what you are looking for this way. If you do not preregister with your credit card (Big Brothers Big Sisters takes their percentage for processing that for you), you will pay more at the door and may be turned away. You have to buy your own drinks (expensive) and may be solicited for more donations during the event, so be sure to bring plenty of tip money. Apparently, not as many singles are participating in this as there used to be, especially guys. TIP: If you attend one of these events, there are 2 bars. The one “captive” bar is much more expensive than the other bar. If you can sneak out to the other bar, you could save $2-4 per drink! What’s with an $8 Manhattan? Contact Dena at dcagliero@firstam.com for more info on this.

Although Santa Barbara is on the Central Coast, this is outside our normal coverage area. However, since we mentioned Central Coast Singles that reaches down to Santa Ynez Valley, and Travel Connections Social Club that reaches further, we have to mention these groups also. You can see that I like to be fair when I can, or want to…

Camaradas is run by Derick Loyd and covers Santa Barbara to the Santa Ynez Valley. They have dinners every month, as well as some events in the Santa Barbara area. Dinner is twice monthly in Buellton/Santa Ynez. It costs $8 to be on their list for events. If you want to meet people for dinner and chat, or want to drive down to Santa Barbara for other events, then this is the group to check out.

There are two more singles groups in Santa Barbara. One has singles mixers, and the other one has wine and dine. If you are interested in those groups, learn about Google. If you are nice to me and give me some hot leads to things here on the Central Coast, and contribute to our stories and opinions, I may give you the information I have. Good luck with that.

I will throw this in just for the heck of it. There is a cafe in Paso Robles called Cafe Vio at 1111 Riverside where they have a monthly Speed Dating or other singles event on the 3rd or 4th weekend each month. If you have never heard of speed dating before, it is where you have a seat and talk with someone of the opposite sex for about 4-5 minutes, then rotate on to the next one. Once you have completed the rounds, you mark on your card who you are interested in, and turn it in. It is a fun way to meet people, and find out if you might be interested in meeting them some time later. It is like reading a personal ad. They will change things around on occasion until they find out what works best for them.

Since I brought up speed dating, I should also mention SLO Speed Dating run by Jenny Brantlee. They tried an event at the Courtyard by Marriott in SLO, but it is unclear whether that event happened according to the numbers they attracted. Cost was set at $29 to include a drink. You can contact Jenny at (805) 234-7279 for more info and to see if they are going to try it again.

If I am going to mention those speed dating events, I should mention that one successful event was held by Central Coast Singles in May 2008. Over 40 singles participated in various age ranges, and it seemed to go well. From what I can determine, it was held, and matches were made. It is planned to have another one around September, which may include music and dancing, and perhaps seminars or classes for the price. You can contact (805) 602-0051 for more information and possible dates for this event.

That is all we have to say about Singles Groups. Remember, next time we talk about dating, it will include FREE sites for personal ads, a well as listing those that make you pay for everything. Some you cannot even contact anyone or read email without paying, but they tell you it is FREE to place an ad. Okay, what good does it do me to place an ad, when I can’t contact anyone? Watch for that installment soon.

I want to thank those who contributed to this listing, but also want to chastise those that ignored our requests for information. It is obvious that if you ignore The Opinionator, your information will still be put out here. Therefore, I am not responsible for corrections to any information you failed to provide to me. On the other hand, since this is an opinion Blog, I guess that means I don’t have to be factual at all. Remember that everything in this blog is OPINION only, and not worth the paper it is written on. Wait, it isn’t on paper, so I guess it is worthless. Well, then that settles that. I don’t care if you ignored me, I’ll say what I want.

The Opinionator