What is up with Singles and Dating on the Central Coast?

I have noticed an increase in singles groups around the Central Coast over the past year or so. Not only that, but dating sites sure have changed since the last time I “needed” one. In fact, in another Blog, I will tell you about some good FREE dating sites you will want to know about if you are single. In the meantime, let’s look at the “Big Dogs” of dating, the Singles Groups.

Remember when video dating was the thing to do? You went to their office and made a tape of who you were, and what you were looking for. If you looked good on TV, you were picked. If not, you were screwed. It was kind of like the Nixon/Kennedy debate. Everyone that heard it on the radio (those were still popular back then) swore that Nixon won and was quite the victor. However, TV was in it’s infancy, and Nixon was not prepared for the look. He came off looking like some sort of crook or something (not that he ever was), and people who watched it voted hands down for Kennedy. It was as if there were two different debates.

This was the same way. If you looked good on paper, you could still be a dork and get dates. If you looked good on video, you had it made at these sites. Still, people who were not photogenic at all (should that be videogenic?) were still plunking down their $30-50 for the service. Maybe they just wanted to watch videos of other people. A dating service for voyeurs and pervs? Who knows. I tried it once.

I watched some videos, like what you would do in one of those porn shops, or sperm bank donation booth. You pick whoever you think might work out, then they watch your video. If they picked you, then you got a date. Never mind that people were putting their deepest darkest secrets on tape for anyone to see in the privacy of their booth. You talk, I’ll watch.

Well, there is a whole new breed of dating services out there, and they call themselves Singles Groups or Social Groups. I have actually dug up a few here on the Central Coast, and it is quite interesting. Here is what I found out:

Let’s start with the two biggest ones. It is arguable which one is truly bigger, as they are secretive and boastful about their lists, but let’s go with the one that claims to have the bigger numbers (swollen claims get you to the top).

Travel Connections Social Club was started by Dianne Tuttle about 10 years ago to drum up travel business and make a service for people who liked to travel but didn’t want to go alone. She set up trips and meetings to talk about trips, then there came dinners and BBQs to get people to socialize. It became one big social group designed around a travel service. It actually serves a very good purpose, if you’ve ever seen how much it costs to travel alone. Rooms, cruises, and other accomodations are charged by pairs. If you get a room alone, it is the same price for one or two people. Why not share the costs? You also end up with a “travel buddy” or companion that you can spend time with on tours. This group is primarily older settled people who want to travel now, and have time for it. There is also the younger part that only travels on occasion and see it as a way to socialize in the meantime. She claims to have about 1,000 singles across a broad area.

New Life Christian Singles is run by the New Life Christian Fellowship in Pismo Beach, and claims to have about 700+ singles in their database. Most of their events are centered around church and fellowship, such as movies about being a better single through Christianity, pot lucks and game nights with a little preaching here and there, but also some outdoor activities such as hiking and outings. They have some pretty good events, and an active calendar. They promote a God-centered lifestyle for singles. Not all their members are from their church. They reach out to other churches for their singles, as well, and some members don’t go to any of those churches at all. They have secular members also, so don’t be afraid to check it out. If they scare you away by getting too preachy, tell them you know the Opinionator, and let me know about it.

Central Coast Singles is pretty much a clearing house of singles events and groups. This group run by Gerald Craig was started in early 2005 to fill the needs of singles who were tired of the bar scene and pickups, but still wanted to get out. It is a social group that allows for singles to meet, and possibly find a love in their life. With 400 single friends on their MySpace page, over 200 in their database, another 120+ in their Yahoo Groups, and about 150 on a mailing list, this one is perhaps the most puzzling of all. Although they have events every week of the month, they still cram a bunch more stuff into their schedule from other groups that wish to submit to them. To look at their calendar, it is so full, how do you pick what you want to do? However, with a goal of making as much available for members and other singles, this certainly fits the bill as the way to get out there and have fun. Look for ball games, dancing at the Big Chill at the Graduate on the first Saturday of each month, singles mingles, other dinners and dancing, speed dating, movies, game nights, BBQs and much more. This is probably the first place to stop for singles from Paso Robles and San Miguel to Lompoc and the Santa Ynez Valley.

Central Coast Catholic Network out of Nipomo is a singles group that doesn’t want to be called a singles group. I guess some of the members didn’t want to be associated as single, and want it to be more of a social group, rather than a singles group. This group is faith based, but they have members of all levels of faith. You don’t have to be Catholic to join, although many events are associated with the Catholic Church. They do many other things, sometimes interfacing with other singles groups and doing their own events. They have gone dancing, to concerts, dinners, parties, potlucks, the Melodrama, attend mass together, and much more. Run by Adele Zelena, this is a relatively wholesome group, that appeals to a more conservative base. Call (805) 878-4464

North County Christian Singles are brought together by Jeanette Bush in Paso Robles for game nights, dinners, bowling, and other events found around the area. Jeanette started this group to fill a need for social events for singles in the Paso Robles area. They visit the Spirit West Conference in Monterey, and do other faith based events, both on their own and with the New Life group. This is a good group to contact for carpooling to other singles events. Of course, with any carpooling, it is suggested that you get to know each other first. North County Singles should contact her.

Camping Love of Adventure is the first one we find that has dues to pay, but it is worth the info they provide and the fun. It is a nonprofit camping group that hosts events monthly including camping, potlucks, campfires, and various outings. Widows, widowers, divorced, unmarried, and individuals with a chronically incapacitated spouse are welcome. Yearly dues are $10. Events go all over, and involve several levels of participation, which are up to you to choose. For local chapter info contact Bev Pritchett and Sharon Harrison: 937-3268 or twobirds2@verizon.net.

Singles Meeting Friends & Soulmates is run by Dolores Segui in Santa Maria. This is a limited group, with about +/- 30 members, in a controlled rotation of events. They visit the Big Chill dance monthly, follow a band called Unfinished Business to various venues, frequent dinners, movies, miniature golf, beach & lake parties, travel out of town for singles events, and occasional singles cruises as available. This group has different levels of participation, controlled by the owner of the group, who choses who will participate in what events. If you work well in a very controlled environment with seating arrangements and specific expectations, this is the group for you. Contact lolysegui@comcast.net for more information on this group.

Singles Charity Mixer set up by Dena Cagliero of First American Title Company has an event every quarter that costs $25 to attend. You pay the fee, listen to 3 guest speakers for about 3 minutes each, and you “vote” for your favorite charity. This charity gets what is left of your $25 donation after processing charges. She tries to put together 40 men and 40 women for each event to raise about $2,000. Of course, they “SKIM” a bit of your donation for processing fees or whatever. They target singles 25 to 55 years old, so you may be discouraged from attending if you are younger or older. Of course, your money is just as green as any other single person’s, and why wouldn’t a 55 year old be interested in a 58 year old? They also want professional people who can be charitable, which to me means deep pockets. They also limit the ratio to 1:1 men to women, which means you could be stuck with only one choice of person to chat with through the night unless you switch quickly to another person. You may also not find who or what you are looking for this way. If you do not preregister with your credit card (Big Brothers Big Sisters takes their percentage for processing that for you), you will pay more at the door and may be turned away. You have to buy your own drinks (expensive) and may be solicited for more donations during the event, so be sure to bring plenty of tip money. Apparently, not as many singles are participating in this as there used to be, especially guys. TIP: If you attend one of these events, there are 2 bars. The one “captive” bar is much more expensive than the other bar. If you can sneak out to the other bar, you could save $2-4 per drink! What’s with an $8 Manhattan? Contact Dena at dcagliero@firstam.com for more info on this.

Although Santa Barbara is on the Central Coast, this is outside our normal coverage area. However, since we mentioned Central Coast Singles that reaches down to Santa Ynez Valley, and Travel Connections Social Club that reaches further, we have to mention these groups also. You can see that I like to be fair when I can, or want to…

Camaradas is run by Derick Loyd and covers Santa Barbara to the Santa Ynez Valley. They have dinners every month, as well as some events in the Santa Barbara area. Dinner is twice monthly in Buellton/Santa Ynez. It costs $8 to be on their list for events. If you want to meet people for dinner and chat, or want to drive down to Santa Barbara for other events, then this is the group to check out.

There are two more singles groups in Santa Barbara. One has singles mixers, and the other one has wine and dine. If you are interested in those groups, learn about Google. If you are nice to me and give me some hot leads to things here on the Central Coast, and contribute to our stories and opinions, I may give you the information I have. Good luck with that.

I will throw this in just for the heck of it. There is a cafe in Paso Robles called Cafe Vio at 1111 Riverside where they have a monthly Speed Dating or other singles event on the 3rd or 4th weekend each month. If you have never heard of speed dating before, it is where you have a seat and talk with someone of the opposite sex for about 4-5 minutes, then rotate on to the next one. Once you have completed the rounds, you mark on your card who you are interested in, and turn it in. It is a fun way to meet people, and find out if you might be interested in meeting them some time later. It is like reading a personal ad. They will change things around on occasion until they find out what works best for them.

Since I brought up speed dating, I should also mention SLO Speed Dating run by Jenny Brantlee. They tried an event at the Courtyard by Marriott in SLO, but it is unclear whether that event happened according to the numbers they attracted. Cost was set at $29 to include a drink. You can contact Jenny at (805) 234-7279 for more info and to see if they are going to try it again.

If I am going to mention those speed dating events, I should mention that one successful event was held by Central Coast Singles in May 2008. Over 40 singles participated in various age ranges, and it seemed to go well. From what I can determine, it was held, and matches were made. It is planned to have another one around September, which may include music and dancing, and perhaps seminars or classes for the price. You can contact (805) 602-0051 for more information and possible dates for this event.

That is all we have to say about Singles Groups. Remember, next time we talk about dating, it will include FREE sites for personal ads, a well as listing those that make you pay for everything. Some you cannot even contact anyone or read email without paying, but they tell you it is FREE to place an ad. Okay, what good does it do me to place an ad, when I can’t contact anyone? Watch for that installment soon.

I want to thank those who contributed to this listing, but also want to chastise those that ignored our requests for information. It is obvious that if you ignore The Opinionator, your information will still be put out here. Therefore, I am not responsible for corrections to any information you failed to provide to me. On the other hand, since this is an opinion Blog, I guess that means I don’t have to be factual at all. Remember that everything in this blog is OPINION only, and not worth the paper it is written on. Wait, it isn’t on paper, so I guess it is worthless. Well, then that settles that. I don’t care if you ignored me, I’ll say what I want.

The Opinionator

Would You Like Some Tomatoes on your Salmonella Sandwich Sir?

Or maybe some bagged spinach? That may be a ludicrous question, but right now it seems like the right thing to ask. Never mind that there is an easy way out of this. Did I say easy? Not if the bureaucrats have their way. Many are too busy with their “Senate Pages” and prostitutes to be able to do something about this problem. Let’s see how simple this could be.

Someone gets sick. “Where did you eat last?” “I had a vegie sandwich at Dell’s Deli”. Go to Dell’s and ask where he bought his tomatoes, then order your turkey breast and swiss on whole wheat, hold the tomatoes. Head over to Joe’s Wholesale Produce and ask which farms he bought from. Then you go to Tex’s Red Star Farms and find out who picked them, and if they are washing their hands after using the outhouse. That’s right, your salmonella may have come from poop hands.

Where did you think it came from? Dead plucked chickens dancing on the produce? Maybe a few raw eggs accidentally cracked on it? By the way, don’t order ceasar salad unless the eggs in the dressing are coddled properly. They usually use raw eggs. So, poop hands, unwashed utensils in preparing food, raw chicken on the cutting board, how simple could all this be?

Instead, they try to find the source first. Which boat did they come in on, where did those go to, how do we find them now? Needle in a haystack. Hey, if you want to find the salmonella, find the tomatoes you know have it. Don’t try it from the other end. Trace it backward. That’s the easy way to do a maze, too. You start from the finish. Come on, let’s be smart about this.

A number of years ago, San Luis Obispo County had problems with Sugar Peas or Snap Peas. Don’t ask me the difference, it was a long time ago, and I stopped eating the peas because of it. It seems the field workers were “doing their business” in the fields, then continuing to pick. At least THAT’s what I remember. I just remember that after that, the county made a requirement to have porta potties when picking produce. That is why you see them now, when you see field workers doing their thing. What about washing their hands? Is that a requirement?

You say that’s too simple? Haven’t you watched those TV news magazine shows like 20/20 and the others when they’ve done demonstrations on spreading bacteria? No, you just watch the ones where they trap the pervs after young girls. Anyway, they spray some harmless bacteria that are blacklight reactive  in a couple places, and see how far it goes. Pretty soon it is all over the place. On and in the fridge, the kids, the food, everywhere. Don’t scratch yourself there! The people get disgusted, and you forget about it. That shows how easy it happens.

How is this stuff getting into the marketplace? Maybe inspectors are overworked. Maybe unions just want to get the government to hire more inspectors, and they can get more union dues. Maybe some inspectors just don’t care. Maybe they don’t like their jobs. Maybe they are incompetent. It can’t be THAT many inspectors, can it? Besides, what do you look for?

Is there a magical way to tell if a tomato has salmonella? Does it look a little green behind the gills? Does it look nauseous? How does an inspector tell there is something wrong with the produce? Is there a little vial test like the cops use to tell if someone is carrying meth with them? Let’s spray the tomatoes with some magical fluid and check it with a blacklight like on CSI.

I know it is already bad enough that they have to approve a whole cargo container of produce to come into this country or the grocery chain based on testing a couple pieces out of one or two boxes, or so I have been led to believe from the last time we had a scare like this. They tell horror stories about loads that come in with minimum of testing. We don’t need horror stories about produce. There is enough out there without it.

Heck, if the average person went into the kitchen of their favorite restaurant and looked under everything, they wouldn’t eat out any more. It is up to the stores, restaurants, sandwich shops, or wherever, to wash these things thoroughly. Do you wash YOUR produce well? Hot water. All it would take is some preparation at the place that is putting the tomatoes on my sandwich. But then again, how many of them aren’t washing their hands after the restroom too?

Darn poop hands.

The Opinionator

Did the Baby Boomer’s Show Boom or Bust?

What am I talking about? On June 7, 2008, there was a “Baby Boomer’s Show” at the Madonna Expo Center in San Luis Obispo. I attended that, and they have another one coming up in November. I will not be attending that one.

I have to say that I was there rather early. In fact, I was there before the wine garden opened. Who ever heard of a wine garden opening after the event has been open for a couple hours? Then again, who ever heard of a wine garden open for breakfast? I don’t drink wine, so I don’t know about these things. I just remember the countdown to the opening of the wine garden, and I did NOT feel a breeze rush by as people ran for it.

In fact, only one guy seemed to be anxious to get to it, and I think it is more than a hobby for him. He left a presentation early to get to it. How rude is that? Oh, rudeness will be handled in one of my blogs too. Don’t worry that I am letting that slip by.

As far as attendance, it really seemed like a bust when I was there. There was plenty of elbow room, knee room, in fact a LOT of body room, plenty of candy left in their bowls, and to tell you the truth, I think the only people entering the drawings for gift baskets were other exhibitors. They were wandering around bored as heck. Fortunately, not many of them tried to hustle me into their corner of the world to sell me.

I can’t be sold anyway. I used to sell, so I know the tricks. Would you like 4 cans of this pesticide, or will 3 be enough? “I only came in here for one” But you said the bugs are taking over, and I think the 6 cans you were looking at would be a good selection. Of course, if you want to go cheap, we could go for only 5 cans. So, should I charge these 8 cans to your credit card, or will you be giving me cash?

Of course, I didn’t reach into the trap to take candy out of their bowl unless they were looking the other way. I know how to play the mousetrap game, and I got a few pieces scott free. Ooops, I don’t want to offend our Scottish friends, but I am part Scottish so I can do that. I got it Scott free.

If I needed a sun room with lights pointed into it, new windows to protect me from glare of the fluorescent bulbs, water by bottle or osmosis, elective surgery, laser procedures, a new body, financial planning and investment advice (several of those), candles, diets, catering, barbeques, hot tubs, banks, laser, doctors, investment advice, makeup, laser, doctors, investment advice, or travel, it was the perfect place for me. Oh wait, I think it was all about the wine garden. Did I mention that they charged to get into the wine garden? Just go to Trader Joe’s and buy a few bottles of wine for that price.

Come to think of it, I guess that is what Baby Boomers need. Laser and investments. And wine. Oh, and don’t forget the big motorcycles there for mid life crisis. Let’s head to Sturgis. I only want to see Mt. Rushmore and the big carved Crazy Horse. Honest.

It really wasn’t very big, I thought it would have much more. I was very disappointed. I ended up with my bag of goodies. Other than the few candies I tossed in it real quick, I did my job of recycling. I am glad I wasn’t an exhibitor there. Of course, I have nothing to sell but dry wit, and that doesn’t go with dry wine from the garden. It left me wanting more, and wondering why I parked in the lower parking lot and walked up that hill.

Maybe it was because I was expecting more, maybe it was because the website looked good, or maybe it was because I was sold the extra cans of pesticide, I decided I needed to go. I got home with an empty feeling, and realizing that maybe they sold me after all.

The Opinionator

Does Religion Have Purpose?

Okay, before you go off on this topic and tell me YES IT HAS A PURPOSE, READ EZEKIAL or whatever you want to refer me to, just read the whole thing. If you don’t agree with it, leave a comment so I can make fun of you. If you do agree with it, leave a comment so I can make fun of you. This is opinion and I am the Opinionator. That means I write it, you read it.

What is religion? Is it a belief in God? Not necessarily, because you don’t have to believe in God to be religious. What about that cult that thought the comet was going to take them to a new planet? How does this work? Wikipedia (we know they are the ultimate arbiter of all areas of knowledge) defines religion as:

“A religion is a set of beliefs and practices, often centered upon specific supernatural and moral claims about reality, the cosmos, and human nature, and often codified as prayer, ritual, and religious law. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and mystic experience. The term “religion” refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction.”

Come again? Let’s just make it simple. Religion is any group that has a common Dogma. That means an opinion, belief, or common tenet. That’s all religion is. That is why Hindus, that don’t believe in the God of Abraham are a religion, Wicca and Paganism are religions with or without a God, and I would argue that even Agnosticism and Atheism are religions because they have a common belief, opinion, or tenet. I bet religious nutcases are liking me now. They will dismiss this last sentence because the true nutcases don’t believe they are nutcases so you can’t offend them.

Try this. Go down to the Farmer’s Market in SLO and walk up to the Atheist booth when they actually have it set up again. Tell them they are a religion and watch them squirm. I argued this with them until they were red in the face, and one had to walk away before he blew up. The truth is, they have a common belief, common dogma, and unite to become a religion. Now to offend the Christians.

You may not have realized what I just said. I said that these people that want you out of the schools and government are a religion just like your church with a Pastor. Yep, you are brothers. That is good fuel for you to have in your next argument with them, though. Oh, Christians arguing with non-believers? That is my next point, control

Religions for years have been used to control people. If you can lead the people to believe you are their one path and savior, you can get them to do anything, including have sex with you. Ummmhmmmm Billy Graham? Yes, there are some stains on Christianity, including a few battles back in the olde days when people would not conform, including the Pagan Incas and Mayans that were decimated by diseases. Oh, and what about the integrity of religious holidays?

Christmas? Pagan Yule. Easter? Pagan Mardi Gras. Halloween? Just plain fun. Why this connection between Christians and Pagans? Because when the prophets set out to convert the world to follow Jesus, they had to entice them. You don’t come into someplace and fight them and tell them they are now going to follow your beliefs. Oh wait, the Crusades did that. But the Prophets did not have an army. They had to be sneaky. They had to trick the people into thinking it was just the same thing they were doing already, so they would follow them. That is like going to a playground and saying, “You can all be nurses. All you have to do is play on the swings and put bandages on people.” Hey, all the kids in the playground will want to be nurses now, and you can brag that you have a well tended health care system. Oh, that’s another topic we will deal with.

Do you follow the logic? Preach to these people, tell them it is what they already have but better because Jesus will save them and God will forgive them, and they will go to heaven instead of hell. They will follow you with no problem. Oh, but what about our holidays? Well, let’s just include those too. We will just change the name so everyone else will think we are original and didn’t just steal you that easily. Then we can say you were converted to Christianity. Okay.

Here are the two things I want to say about religion.

First, it has been used through the centuries to control people. Set up Stonehenge and Machu Picchu to predict when we should plant things and when there will be an eclipse. Say that you were told this by a deity, and people will believe you have the power and will follow you. It’s an age old smoke and mirrors trick to get people to follow you. That is the main thing you need to understand about religion. It makes people conform and follow so you have ultimate power.

Second, Christians, Hindus, Jews, Pagans, and Muslims are all the same. For God’s sake, look at it. What do you see? Do good. Don’t kill. Be kind. Respect. Live right. Treat yourself right. Don’t get out of hand. Come on, does each religion really think they have the exclusive right on these virtues? It is ALL THE SAME. If people are doing good, then they are religious. If they are respectful, they are religious. Not just one religion, ALL religions. Think about it. Give, help, do, be good, respect, what is all of that? It is just a prescription to get along in society. Hey, I guess that means that society uses religion as much as religion uses society.

Religion has a purpose. It keeps people busy, and controls them. Bada bing.

What about religion on the Central Coast? HAH! That will be a multi part section when I can get to it. I have a lot more to do now.

The Opinionator

Hello world! The Opinionator is here

Thank you for viewing my Blog. I intend to pan just about everything I can. If there is anything to compare, I will do my best to compare it for you as well. Tell me what matters to you. Contact me if you don’t agree with what I say, so I can mock you on my blog. Remember, these are MY OPINIONS, not law, not the Bible, and not the only expression available. In fact, speaking of the Bible, let’s start with that. My next blog will be about religion and the use of it by society. I hope you will enjoy my writing for what it is, writing. If I report weekly, daily, or monthly, don’t get offended, don’t get in a huff, and don’t get an attitude. If you live in San Luis Obispo, Santa Maria, Santa Barbara, Paso Robles, King City, or just pass through here, you may be interested in what I have to say. It is opinion only, and should be taken as such. In fact, this will be noted on all my opinion blog posts. Enjoy and smile a little Life is too hard already, why spend it with a lot of frowning?

The Opinionator